The Lord is teaching me to relax and not be in such a rush. All my life, I have been in a hurry afraid of missing out on something. When the whole time, I miss the little things and create more chaos than I need. being a perfectionist, I tend to expect my kids to be perfect. which they aren't.  yet by being a perfectionist, I am teaching my kids that they have to be perfect. Being perfect is completely unattainable. There is only one person I know that was ever perfect and that was Jesus and he is the Son of God.  Learning to relax and being unfocused on time, I let my kids see that they don't need to be perfect for me to love them just as my heavenly Father Loves me and I am no where near perfection. Spending time outside, instead of cooped up in the apt. has helped tremendously. It has also brought about a change in the boys' behavior.  As a parent, we want our children to grow up knowing that we love them for who they are and want them to have the best and be the best they can be.  Showing them that true happiness is not found in things or people but in our Lord and Savior.

i will admit that I struggle daily fearful of screwing up as a parent. Having never had a stable home growing up, I find it difficult to know what to do and learn through experiences.

**DISCOVERY.....now that they are a little bit older, Jaedon and Waylon love to be read to.  Jaedon loves to read (which I think is fantastic). Right now, I am reading through the Harry Potter series with them.  (I have read all 7 and it will take a very long time).  We read one chapter a night unless it is late.

May3rd

Can't believe it is already MAY! Wow this year is flying by.  Back to school today.  Jaedon wasn't very excited yet it is going smoothly for the most part. halfway through what we need to do, and its a little after 1pm. Takinga much needed break.  Waylon insisted on helping me with dishes, which was fine, until I needed to rinse the dishes and he refused to move so I could do that.  He screamed and through a huge fit as per usual. Jaedon redid his handwriting 4 times and the fourth time it looked beautiful! If one can say so about writing. Got dinner in the crockpot, beef stroganoff.  I am hoping it turns out good. Some crockpot meals have been disappointments.